One day at the Ob/Gyn
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010Isn’t that title exciting? Ahaha no graphic descriptions or pictures, i’m promise. Let’s keep it PG-rated. Guys welcome, i promise.
So basically today i skipped work to get cold instruments shoved in very private places. It happens that here, if you want to see a specialist in short notice, you have to show up at the crack of dawn to a non-appointment consultation. Here’s what the lady told me yesterday :
Consulations start at 8.30am. We’ll let 40 people in, this will guarantee that you’ll see a doctor during the day.
Ok, i figured, let’s show up at 8.15, it will be a piece of cake! Yay, sure, if a piece of cake refers to a file of nearly 20 people already waiting under the snow. Good times. Not to mention all those who had appointments booked.
But i did great discoveries during those 5 1/2 hours in the waiting room. First, there’s apparently a market for cd coffrets of classic songs covers in mariachi style. And while it was fun at first, it got slightly disturbing at Smells Like Teen Spirit, before being totally unbearable at Beat It. Not Michael Jackson’s Beat It, it was the mariachi cover of Fall Out Boy’s cover of Michael Jackson’s Beat It. Patrick Stump’s voice and everything.
I also discovered that there is some kind of weird male STD that causes you to never blink, because a guy sat right in front of me and looked at me straight in the eye for 4 hours in a row.
Last but not least… Well. It’s going to get a little private here. I’m kinda shy, so when i go to the ob/gyn, i trim my hair in a different way. Down there. Like, you now, a normal person. And next to me in the waiting room was a guy with the same hairstyle. On his head. Wish i could provide a picture, but it would have been tricky to explain!
Long story short, after falling asleep in the waiting room, realizing that i actually am really shy when it comes to spread eagles, and getting poked and stabbed in random places by a male stranger, i’m back home and in pain. Ouch.
Turns up i seem to have endometriosis, a condition that basically is a pain in the ass. Almost literally. Who doesn’t like random pelvic pain? And the best option i have for now is to get on the pill. UGH. I tried so hard to avoid popping disgusting hormones every day, and that’s what it gets to. Isn’t life charming?
So i think it’s a good excuse to lay in bed and watch Jersey Shore.